5 PRINCIPLES FOR LISTENING WITH CURIOSITY
LISTENING WITH THE INTENTION TO UNDERSTAND RATHER THAN TO FIX CAN SET YOU APART AS AN EFFECTIVE COUNSELOR.
Understanding that someone is coming to you not just to hear what you know, but primarily to share their life. Listening with curiosity will help you to discover what your client really needs from you.
LISTEN WITH CURIOSITY TO UNDERSTAND:
1. The purpose of why they are sharing their story.
The effectiveness lies in understanding why someone came to you for guidance and advice. Is it because they want specific direction, a list of tasks, rules and guidelines, or is it because you can support them with encouraging words, and optimism when they may have lost confidence? Don’t make assumptions about the reasons they have come to you, but be curious and explore so you can give them with what they need.
2. Their values and interests.
Engage with the client so that you can understand what they value most. You can then connect desired health behaviors that will bring them closer to their passions making it easier for them to value the healthy change.
3. Their feelings and emotions.
Understanding individual’s authentic emotions regarding their health or about health behavior change is important for you as a counselor. If they are showing excitement and joy for their new health adventure, your role will be different from someone that may be more apathetic about their desire to change. Learning about how someone feels about making healthy changes allows for you to adjust your approach and meet your client where they are at. The expectation that everyone will be excited to change will lead to disappointment.
Individuals may want to express with words what they are feeling about their health, but others may not be upfront with their feelings and emotions. Be observant to see how non-verbal body language may tell you about their excitement, discouragement, hopefulness, fears or sadness.
4. Their hopes and desires.
Listening intently about someone’s hopes and desires allows for you to understand their ultimate goals and how to manage their expectations. You can better guide your client to understand the balance between the short game and long game. Your client may hope for big changes very quickly and want it to last a lifetime. But as practitioners, we understand that focusing the client on the long game will be in their best interest. You are a guide with the goal of helping them to appreciate the journey on the way to their destinations.
5. Their uniqueness.
Listen with curiosity to learn about an individual's strengths and their perspective. Since we all have unique points of view, it is important to try to look through the unique lens of your client, rather than trying to get them to look through yours. It is crucial that we don’t assume that we all have the same tools, same resources, same desires, or same hopes. Allow for others to be themselves and find their healthy self within their own view of the world.
